Matt Swan in Dorset: One Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Pilsdon's birthday cakes are incredibly creative and always unique

Shortly after Pilsdon's chickens all met their demise simultaneously a couple of weeks ago (see blog post from 3 Dec), the Government's Chief Vet (a post I had previously been unaware of) announced that everyone in the country must keep their poultry indoors for 30 days. The reason for this draconian measure is the threat of Highly Pathogenic Avian Flu which lurks on mainland Europe. Infected wild birds popping over here from the Continent could easily transmit it to their British counterparts, wild or tame. Anyone not complying can be fined up to £5000 and thrown in prison for 3 months.

Unlike almost every other poultry-keeper in the country this bad news had a bit of a silver lining for us. Since we happen to be in a brief non-chicken-owning period we don't have to worry about keeping them all crammed into their coop for a month. And it means that we actually have a bit more time to finish off the chicken fencing, at least up till the end of the 30 day period, rather than by this weekend when the next platoon of ex-battery hens would have been coming. A jolly good thing too as their enclosure is not yet in place. We have banged the posts in all the way round the woodland and dug a small trench between each post in which to bury the bottom of the fencing, but the actual fence is still lying rolled up on the ground.

This was a cake in the form of a logfire. Most of the logs had been eaten at this point.

Our ducks though are a different story as they happened to be alive and in residence when the DEFRA control measure came into force. Our four Indian Runner ducks, the thin ones that hold themselves particularly upright as they waddle around, lived in an enclosure in the main yard. Our two Aylesbury ducks, the white “Jemima Puddleduck” variety, were kept separately over by the orchard. We had to separate the two breeds when we discovered the male Aylesbury liked to terrorise the Indian Runners.

Their respective coops were too small to keep them in for an entire month so we had to re-purpose the Donkey Shed to house the birds instead. Luckily no donkeys live in the Donkey Shed (the last one I helped to bury in my first month at Pilsdon in 2012). But which ducks should go in? We couldn't keep all the ducks together for a whole month, the male Aylesbury would cause havoc. It was no contest really. We get more eggs from the Indian Runners than from the sole female Aylesbury.

And this was a joint birthday cake for Mary and Anna, decorated with home-grown chilli peppers.

I got quite a shock one morning as I went into the veg storage shed to get some onions for lunch and came face to face with two dead ducks, hanging upside down. These have since been plucked, butchered and cooked and the meat will, I believe, be converted into pate.

Hopefully the Avian Flu embargo will be lifted after 30 days, the remaining ducks returned to their more comfortable quarters and we can buy some new chickens. But unfortunately a Lincolnshire turkey farm has contracted the disease which has placed that whole area on lockdown. There must be a risk that if more cases are discovered the restrictions could continue for longer. Spare a thought for all the poor imprisoned fowl this Christmas!